I’m not going to assume you’ve been reading the Wheel of time series. It’s a huge fantasy series with a lot of books basically. Anyway, there’s a scene related to the theme of this blog which totally blew me away, and had me thinking if I should be living another life?One where I am my true self and living life as exactly who I was meant to be.
It’s a scene where the main character, Rand, walks through a portal which, before taking him to his destination, leads him through all the different versions of his life, none of which included him realizing his life’s purpose. In the main story, however, Rand is who he is meant to be, a sort of chosen one known as ‘The Dragon Reborn’.
In all the other versions of his life, he never became the Dragon Reborn. And so, in all these other lives, even in the happy ones, there was always a feeling that something was missing, a sort of dissatisfaction with life. In one particular existence, he was was just a lowly farmer with a simple life. He lived until an old age, always aware that he was slightly dissatisfied with life. Until one day, his village was attacked by evil forces. As they were attacking, he got an overwhelming feeling to pick up his pitchfork and run into battle – totally against all odds. For that brief moment, before he was hacked down and killed almost immediately, he had come in touch with his life’s purpose, he felt truly alive. You see, the Dragon Reborn was a prophet, the one who would rise up and defeat evil in this particular fantasy world. And it wasn’t until then, that Rand would know who he truly was.
This struck me…
It was very profound for me to come across this subject, deep into the story of a fantasy book where I certainly didn’t expect to be truly asking myself about the meaning of my life? But the author captures this niggling feeling of dissatisfaction with life so well that it leads me back there every time I wonder if I am supposed to be someone else. Am I wasting my life? What is the purpose of my existence?
Now, I’m not saying I should be the Dragon Reborn or anything, but perhaps I’m not living life the way I’m supposed to. Or is that just folly? Is it a self-destructive thought to believe I’m not even the right version of me? It’s all very confusing at times.
Why this feeling?
If you were to write your autobiography right now, would it be a guide on how to things right? (I just made myself laugh thinking of mine in that context). The thing is though, why isn’t it right? At 34, I’m single, no kids, very average income, no real plan, balding, I wear glasses now, I may be on the way to breaking the world record for having the worst dating life on the planet. As you can tell, I’m a little unsatisfied with life. But, perhaps there are many who would take advantage of my situation in a much better way. I’m probably just moaning too much, to be honest. Although, I do have a history of negative thinking so I’m sure I would complain no matter what the circumstances.
It’s this feeling of unsatisfaction with life that I will explore in upcoming posts. For example, I will write about comparing oneself to others, and peoples’ expectations of you, as well as your expectations of them and how these things lead to unhappiness. If it’s something that resonates with you, keep an eye out, and let’s explore it together. If you have any opinions on this, or you have just realized you are the Dragon Reborn (like the guy below). Do let me know in the comments section!
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Wrestle Thyself 
There are always the Harry Potters and Neo from the Matrix stories.
I was fired from my janitor job 2 weeks ago (2 weeks sober today- high five anyone?)
But I remember one day at work thinking. “am I stuck here? This does not make me happy anymore.” (hence the drinking.)
I have an inbox full of mailing lists for “pay us to promote your self-published book!” all because one day I wanted to get my book out there. Now I’m working with an editor and I’ve told myself- ‘get your book out there, because if nothing else it’s the one thing that makes you happy.’
🙂
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High five from me! It’s great that you have found something that makes you happy. Something which is totally under your control as well (the act of writing), and so you’re streets ahead of many people who have no idea what makes them happy yet. I wish you every bit of luck with your book 🙂
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Living up to the expectations of others never works. They always have new expectations.
Thanks for following my blog, which is much appreciated.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Thank you too, Pete. Expectations of others are a heavy burden for sure and , like you say, never really work out well.
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